I ate a big meal in front of a friend who forgot his wallet, surprisingly I felt good.
You’ve taught him a valuable lesson, not about remembering his wallet, but about having you as a friend.
I’m a Republican who hates the gay like Leviticus says I should. This week, I got busted for DUI outside a gay bar, where I had been attending a Latino drag queen pageant. Now everyone thinks I’m gay, when I was just in there trying to save the damned souls through some “one-on-one” counseling with the man I was bringing home for the night.
What should I do?
Oh, Roy. Being gay is fine. For the DUI, you’re going to Hell.
I’m currently on business travel. For diner I decided to have the filet with stuffed shrimp and a few beers, just because I could. The company is paying for it, after all. Hopefully the work I do here will grant me a slot for the work to be done in Hawaii, maybe even a bonus. I could have been reading technical manuals tonight, but instead I went to a dance club. I watched all those fine, barely dressed, nubile, half my age, women on the dance floor. I would have killed to have been one of those guys they were dancing with. I wish I could have been born with the genetics that makes me more like one of them. Forget them! I’m way smarter than any of them anyway! I have a masters degree and I’m going for my PhD. I’m sure I make much more money than anyone there. Nevertheless; I now sit in my hotel room, alone, divulging my sins to a web page devoted to a religion I do not believe in. Fuck my life.
Next time, instead of the trip try video conferencing.
I am a tabloid news journalist.
We all must earn a living… So, what’s really up with Brad and Angelina?
I just got a foot-long sub loaded with goodness, as well as a big bag of chips. I was eating half when I drove by a homeless person with a sign. I could have given him my other half a sandwich, or even the chips. But I didn’t. In fact, I tried not to even look at him as I proceeded to dribble mayonnaise down my chin and gobble down turkey and pepper jack. I ended up eating the whole thing. Am I a bad person?
You’re not a bad person, just a hungry one. And if it eases your guilt, thanks to the cheese and mayo, the homeless guy will probably outlive you.