I’m a Republican who hates the gay like Leviticus says I should. This week, I got busted for DUI outside a gay bar, where I had been attending a Latino drag queen pageant. Now everyone thinks I’m gay, when I was just in there trying to save the damned souls through some “one-on-one” counseling with the man I was bringing home for the night.
What should I do?
Oh, Roy. Being gay is fine. For the DUI, you’re going to Hell.